Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I've been running for about 45 years. For the first time, a bird in a tree took aim and scored a direct hit.
I've been jogging for a long time, maybe 45 years. I've had close calls with falling acorns. I've gone eyeball-to-yellow-eyeball with a wolf-sized coyote. Once, in the dark, I'm pretty sure I stepped on a raccoon. But the animal screamed and I screamed, and I set a personal record for the hundred meter dash in the dark, so I can't be sure. But in all those decades of running, I've never been crapped upon by a bird. Until Monday morning. It had to be studying me, up in that tree on Chicago Avenue in Downers Grove, watching me get closer, judging my speed (or lack thereof), factoring in a light breeze, distance to the ground and gravitational acceleration, the expected shape and aerodynamic qualities of the payload. Then, at that perfect …
A controversial magazine cover makes breastfeeding and attachment parenting look almost glamorous—but is it? No. It's not.
Time Magazine’s cover of a woman breastfeeding her son was intended to bring awareness to attachment parenting. Instead it made the long-suffering magazine look desperate for attention, and some poor kid a lifelong subject of playground bullying. I mean, what is the cutoff for breastfeeding, little league? Most of my friends who breastfed didn’t have the cover subject’s fresh “après yoga” appearance. If the article was actually about parenting, why didn’t Time choose someone who looked more like an exhausted mom than a model? Let’s face it, being with a kid 24 hours a day is not relaxing. Attachment parenting encourages practices like co-sleeping (baby sleeps with the parents) and baby-wearing (do I have to explain it?). According to some …
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The only people responsible for perpetuating “The Mommy Wars” are mommies themselves.
I’m sure by now that most of you have seen Time magazine’s latest cover story, with its provocative photo of a nubile young MILF breastfeeding her nearly 4-year-old son alongside the headline, “Are You Mom Enough?” The photo and accompanying article have bloggers and pundits everywhere lamenting over this re-ignition of The Mommy Wars, in which mommies are pitted against one another based on differing parenting philosophies, breastfeeding habits, working versus staying at home, etc. But in my experience, the only people responsible for perpetuating The Mommy Wars are mommies, themselves. One of the singularly most miserable experiences of my life was when I decided to join a new mothers’ group shortly after my daughter was born. I was …
Monday, May 14, 2012
Recent studies suggest that drastic methods must be taken.
The big news coming out of last week’s Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Weight of the Nation conference in Washington, D.C., was a public health report that predicts that if Americans keep getting heavier at the current rate, 42 percent of the population will be obese by 2030. Childhood obesity in the U.S. has more than tripled in the last 30 years, according to the CDC, which states that in 2008, a third of U.S. children were overweight or obese. The percentage of children 6 to 11 defined as obese rose from 7 percent in 1980 to almost 20 percent in 2008 And, America’s obesity problem may hinder the number of organ donors. The pool of potential living kidney donors may be shrinking because of the national obesity "…
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Marriages without a bride, or a groom, would make many traditions obsolete. Guests could walk into church and sit on either side of the aisle.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Now they're going to turn freeways into tollways! It's a socialist plot!
When former Metra Executive Director Phil Pagano absconded with half-a-million dollars and jumped in front of one of his own trains when he was cornered, I thought Patchland would sit up and take notice. When Metra was caught robbing its capital fund to pay operating expenses, an unsustainable practice that led to a 25 percent rate hike, I thought local folks would start scouring their garages for their torches and pitchforks. When, despite a lengthy history of financial shenanigans, the Illinois Tollway Authority doubled tolls, I thought my column on that topic would incite my Tea Party brethren and sistren into storming that Springfield castle. So, as you might imagine, I’ve been a wee bit disappointed that the best you all could muster …
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
A quirky article, and some fuzzy feel good photos of baby animals means nobody will yell at me this week.
(Note: the following column contains significant amounts of hyperbole, outright fabrication and silliness, none of which we apologize for.) I found an unusually perfect bird’s nest in a planter on my front porch—the kind you could buy at Michael’s for $5.99. It wasn’t until I saw mud splatters around it that I realized the little mass of twigs was organic. The nest and its three perfect, blue eggs were too close to the house. We were one careless exit away from a twig omelet. The proximity unnerved us. My husband was convinced the protective momma would fly through our front door, dive-bomb the dog and strafe our hardwood floor with sticky white dappled droppings. My daughter was afraid of a Hitchcock-inspired ornithological attack. She …
Monday, May 7, 2012
Some songs endure for generations. Others fade away.
Today is a good day to sing: “Monday Monday, so good to me Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be” On May 7, 1966, "Monday Monday" by the Mamas and Papas hit No. 1 on the charts. According to brainyhistory.com, May 7 has had some significant moments in American pop music history. For example, on May 7, 1941, Glen Miller recorded "Chattanooga Choo Choo" for RCA. This week’s Patch Poll is about which pop songs will stand the test of time. Below is Billboard's list of "Hot 100" No. 1 songs for the time period including May 7, at the beginning each decade, going back to 1970, as listed on Digitaldreamdoor.com. Which one of these songs will endure and be remembered 50 years from now? Although Patch Polls are interesting but terribly …
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Of course, Ryan and Blagojevich didn't set the bar too high, winding up behind bars.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
When it comes to bridal gown fashion and style, Vera Wang continues to lead the way.
For years I was a faithful fan of the TV show Project Runway. Every episode started with these words of advice to aspiring new designers from the veteran fashion judges: "Remember... we want to see your unique point of view as a designer in every single piece you create." I would hear their admonition and think, boy oh boy. That's a tough nut to crack. Exactly how does one show their unique point of view in a clothing design? Then I read a recent article about the famous designer Vera Wang and I got it. She did exactly that. After 17 years as senior fashion editor for Vogue magazine, she began her design career and opened her first bridal boutique showroom in 1990. It was located at the Carlyle Hotel in New York City. The store had …
Paulette Delcourt
9:04 pm on Thursday, May 17, 2012
I think judging other people is shameful--and anyone that judges another person is mean-spirited and wrong. more ›