Snow White was the darling of the media back in 1937 and she remains a favorite today. Here is a portion of our recent interview:
N: We have not heard from you in some seventy years, Ms. White. Can you tell us what prompted you to write this book now?
SW: Of course. After many years in the spotlight as celebrities, my husband Prince Charming and I settled down and enjoyed a quiet, lovely way of life. However, turns out he was not all that charming. After just a couple years of marriage, he ran off with an old flame he connected with on Facebook. Can you imagine?
N: Will you tell us the name of this old flame?
SW: Honestly? It was so long ago, I barely remember. But it may have been one of those young fairytale girls like Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella. Or maybe it was Lindsey Lohan. I'm really not sure.
N: What about the famous Seven Dwarfs you lived with? Did they stay with you or did they abandon you as well?
SW: Unfortunately, all my adorable Dwarf friends left too. They had their own lives to live (I'm told Dopey has a reality TV show now), and so eventually, they all needed to leave the nest.
But here's the reason I wrote the book. As I have aged, I find I have new guests in my bigger more modern cottage in the woods. They call themselves the Seven Gremlins and they are evil nasty little creatures.
N: Can you tell us who they are? Will we recognize any of them?
SW: Oh, indeed you will recognize them. They go by the names of Frumpy, Dowdy, Saggy, Droopy, Comfy, Mimi and Drab. I am hoping that writing about them enables me to rid myself of their influence and move on with my life. You might say this book is a therapy tool of sorts. I'm hoping too, that other women of a certain age will benefit by reading about my personal experiences.
N: I think we can all understand the significance of the gremlin names you mention, with the exception of Mimi. Can you explain?
SW: Unfortunately, Mimi replaced Doc, my paragon of wisdom. He always gave me great advice, like eat an apple everyday (poison-free, of course), get a flu shot every year, exercise and accessorize vigorously and often, etc. I miss him terribly. But Mimi seemed nice and treated me in a very motherly way, giving me advice about fashion and style. She called herself Mimi, by the way, because it's a more modern name for grandmother, or so she says.
Yet, in her most gentle nurturing voice, she always steered me in the wrong direction. She told me I should wear my vintage pearl necklace together with my vintage pearl earrings. Even I know that's wrong! Matching necklace/earring sets are most definitely OUT. And so are vintage pearls at my age. Oh, and she also advised that I should wear shorter pants and longer skirts. You know the ones, dear. They fall to mid-calf and hit the leg in what fashion people refer to as the Matron Zone? She loves pastel colors too, which are not at all flattering on me, as well as dainty little floral prints. Again, I know these looks are all very matronly and old-fashioned for a more mature woman.
N: I will keep that in mind. Now, can we go back to the original Seven Dwarfs for a moment? Is there anyone else you miss?
SW: I would have to say I miss Happy most of all. He was such a pleasure to have around. Everyday he would remind me that no matter my age, the best accessory I could possibly wear is a big, bright, beautiful smile.
N: Thank you, Ms. White. Those are powerful words to live by. And good luck with your new book! By the way, what did you say the title is?
SW: Actually, I didn't say because I haven't decided yet. I'm considering Mirror Mirror On The Wall, I'm Still the Fairest of Them All: A Memoir. What do you think?
N: I think it's perfect.