Tidbits From the Queen of Chaos: Mysteries I Can't Escape

There are some mysteries in my life that I would love to get to the bottom of but sadly, I think they are just always going to be a part of my life.

1. Why do my kids never have to go to the bathroom when I ask them to try and go but the minute we get in the car and start driving, they have pee right then or their bladder will burst? This also happens in doctor's offices, church and right when they start their treatment.

2. How is it that my sons can go on the football field and take a hit that I think will level them and cause them to sit on the bench injured for the rest of the game but get right back up to play or play basketball so aggressively that they will dive for a ball skinning both their elbows and knees but completely freak out when they have to have a blood test or a flu shot?

3. We are all aware of the missing sock after being in the wash or dryer but I am confused when I clean the basement and I only find one sock (I find several different kinds of one sock). Where is the other sock? At some point was someone walking around with one sock on and one off? Why in the world were they doing that? It's even more of a mystery when I find one of a sock that I know I didn't buy which means one of their friends was doing the same thing. Am I missing out on something by wearing two socks all the time?

4. I know I am not alone in this: How is it that I can go to Target for one thing, come out having spent $100 and forget the one thing I went in for. I just did this with diapers. I forgot those but somehow Disney books on tape and a tub of bubbles made it in the cart.

5. When I go to the doctor with the kids, if I am worried about something, it usually ends up being nothing but if I go thinking it is nothing, it ends up being something. This is not true of the ER, though. The "Mother's Instinct" has yet to fail me. Every time I have brought my kids in, it was something (except Tommy's leg bumps, which is why it is so frustrating that we still don't know what it is. We go March 24th).

6. I still can't figure out how I am sometimes so busy that I forget to eat and I still gain weight (I know...not healthy but if I am being honest, it does happen).

7. It's always a mystery what happens to my children's appetites during the meals I cook and how those appetites seem to return right as I finish cleaning the kitchen.

8. Why are the children perfectly healthy for events that I am less than thrilled to go to but sick right before vacation?

9. Why, when I have money to spend, can't I find any clothes that either look good or are the style I want but when I have no money, they are everywhere?

10. Why do the kids have no homework on days when we have nothing but are swamped when we have a million things going on?

11. I'll give you an example of the next mystery: The nail clippers were on the counter for about a week. I had them out to remind me to do the kids' nails. I would pass them a thousand times and there they were. The minute I remembered to cut their nails, I went to get the clippers that were there ALL week and they were gone. Where did they go? I asked everyone if they moved them. Nope. I found them in a place I would never have put them and the mystery still remains of who put them there. The same could be said for hair bows, hair clips, wallets and keys.

12. Why am I wide awake when Gia goes to sleep but the minute she wakes up, I am so tired, I fall asleep sitting up?

13. Why does my DVR run over with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or World Poker Tournament but cuts off on the rose ceremony of the Bachelor or who goes home in America's Next Top Model?

14. The saddest and most frustrating mystery is: Someone invented that little spill stopper at Starbucks (it's a green stick you put in the hole you drink out of for you non-Starbucks drinkers) but we still don't have a cure for cancer, diabetes or cystic fibrosis.