Jeff Ward: Put the Cell Phone Down! The Life You Save May Be My Own
Jeff presents his first-ever, highly coveted "Keen Perception of the Obvious Award” to the NTSB for calling for a complete, vehicle cell-phone ban last week.
Of all the sentences I thought I’d never have the opportunity to write, other than “The folks at Metra are doing a bang up job,” the one that might top the unexpected list is, “A local newspaper got it wrong, while a government agency got it right!”
Why do I keep seeing the shadow of Rod Serling out of the corner of my eye?
But all Twilight Zone references aside, when the National Transportation Safety Board came out in favor of a complete, vehicle cell-phone ban last week, I immediately jumped out of my chair and starting singing the first verse of God Bless America.
Kate Smith ain’t got nuthin’ on me.
“No call, no text, no update is worth a human life,” NTSB Chairman Deborah Hersman told the press. “It is time for all of us to stand up for safety by turning off electronic devices when driving.”
Hallelujah! This remarkable bout of common sense marks the NTSB as the first federal agency capable of standing up to that D.C. quagmire of lobbyists, special interests and general stupidity to make the right call (no pun intended).
By the way, by “full ban,” God bless ‘em, they mean all hands-free apparatus, as well!
Only someone with a suicidal streak would text behind the wheel, but staring down the loaded barrel of the powerful cell phone lobby, the NTSB paid heed to those studies, blowing away the notion that babbling on your Bluetooth isn't any less distracting.
But then the Kane County Chronicle just had to go ahead and ruin my newfound NTSB-induced Christmas spirit by writing an editorial titled, “Cell phone ban would go too far.” And this from the newspaper that had the remarkable good sense to run my very first column.
The good Chron editors had the nerve to use two of the most specious pro-yakking-while-you’re-driving arguments on the planet. Not that they’re the only ones to go that route. They said that an outright ban “is too far of a stretch” because, in addition to cell phones, there are all sorts of other driving distractions, like “eating, putting on makeup and reading.”
Oh, I see! So the existence of other similar absurd acts somehow mitigates the need to fix this one! Using that logic, I may as well start embezzling from my wife because I’m already cheating on her anyway.
The Chronicle also argued that most cell-phone-impaired drivers are “doing fine” because they don’t get into accidents. OK! Using that logic, we should legalize drunken driving, because the vast majority manages to make it home safely, too. As a judge once told me, the average DUI defendant has already gotten away with it a staggering (pun intended) 87 times before he or she is finally pulled over.
And speaking of drunken drivers, a number of studies, including one performed by the famous Discovery Channel Mythbusters, proved that driving while using a cell phone, even hands free, renders the driver less competent than someone at the legal .08 limit.
No! They’re not “doing fine.” In the past six months, I’ve seen three cell-phone-addled drivers run red lights, including one Route 38 motorist who, upon realizing his mistake two-thirds of the way through the intersection, threw the SUV into reverse, nearly ramming the vehicle behind him.
I’ve seen them brake for stop signs that weren’t there and blow through the ones that were. On more than one occasion, they’ve nearly forced me into oncoming traffic with their weaving ways and, at least three times a week, I get behind some yutz yakking away while doing 25 mph in a 40 mph zone.
The reason these idiots make it home alive isn’t their own competence—it’s because the rest of us are on high alert. That old adage needs to be amended to “God protects children, fools and drivers on cell phones” because thankfully, most drivers are predictable, and we make the appropriate adjustments.
It’s gotten to the point where I look for those telltale signs—hand glued to the ear or the driver’s mouth flapping in the outside mirror—and then I avoid them just like any other drunken driver. Somehow, I’m not sure this is what those Evanston Township High School driving instructors had in mind when they told me to drive defensively!
The Chronicle certainly isn’t the only paper that suggested we might have an enforcement problem, but I also have the answer for that! Just as I’ve 911-ed three drunken drivers, I’ll be more than happy to rat out these folks, too. And once they realize their fellow motorists are willing to drop a dime on them, they’ll get a clue pretty quickly.
Aside from reporting emergency situations, there’s absolutely no need to use your cell phone while driving. Considering the potential danger. Does anyone really need to spend that much time babbling about inconsequential things? Any reasonable person with two connected brain cells should refrain from this act without having to be told to do so.
But as Hamlet once soliloquied, “Aye, there’s the rub.” Putting the words “reasonable” and “person” together in a sentence will only get you heartache. Since we aren’t willing to put our cell phones down, I’m wholeheartedly supporting the NTSB and their sensible efforts to ban the use of cell phones in moving vehicles.
In fact, I’m so impressed with them, I’m bestowing my first annual and highly regarded “Keen Perception of the Obvious Award” to that agency for having the you-know-whats to say what the rest of us already know.
Mike
7:08 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
You are so very very correct and I have to admit that I am guilty of cell phone activity while driving. In retrospect, my attention to that which I should be attentive, is less than astute and dangerous. Sometimes after disengaging from a cell phone call, looking around, I wonder how I got that far without realizing it.
Taking your advice I will not talk on my cell phone any longer.
Thank you for this article.
Jeff Ward
7:38 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Mike,
You're welcome! My wife and I gave up driving on a cell phone when we saw Mythbusters.
Jeff
Tara Elgass
7:11 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
I wholeheartedly agree with you. But alas, I think we are in the minority.
Jeff Ward
7:37 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Tara,
Through the process of writing this column I found far more people agreed with the proposed ban than I expected. Maybe there's hope yet!
Jeff
Mike Sandrolini
8:14 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Amen Jeff! If I had a dollar for every time I've passed up a driver blabbing on his/her cell phone, I could have retired years ago. I used to have a bumper sticker that said, "Hang up and drive!" My guess is that the cell phone users were too busy yapping to ever notice that bumper sticker.
Ray
8:20 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Some people cannot go twenty minutes without being on their cell phones. When the day comes that they have an electronic cell phone chip implanted in their inner ear, it might be tough enforcing this ban; they might appear to just be regular terrible drivers!
Jeff Ward
8:27 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Ray,
Call me crazy, but I often prefer some quiet time in the car listening to WDCB, our last area jazz station (or some classic rock).
Enforcement would be tough, but with cell phone records, if someone on the phone caused an accident, the penalty should be severe!
Jeff
Lisa
9:15 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
This has certainly gone way over board. It would really upset a lot of us who CAN talk and drive! Maybe ban talk and drive for the 25 and under crowd?
John Anderson
9:56 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
So...another Jeff Ward "Ban it!" column. Fire pits, beauty pageants, girls' athletic uniforms that displease him...and now cell phone use in cars. No balance, no compromise...just ban them.
Interesting approach to any issue. Not very democratic, but authoritarian boobs usually just want their way, and ignore any argument to the contrary.
Kelly
10:10 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Everyone is on the phone on the road all day. Most all of them know they CAN talk and drive but the very point is they do not realize, sadly, that they CAN NOT. It's not just the younger crowd. It's the delivery drivers, parents picking up kids at school, the driver backing out of a parking space at Target, the driver who thinks they are in total control, but it is not true at all.
Lisa
10:13 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
There is no cell phone use in school zones already. I don't doubt my abilities -maybe you do?
Jeff Ward
10:16 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
I'm convinced anyone who doesn't "doubt there abilities" couldn't drive on a cell phone on their best day.
Lisa
10:40 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Really? That's odd. Maybe you're transferring your own insecurities on to others? In over 35+ years of driving, I can assure you, I'm confident in my abilities.
Paul Bryant
11:25 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
You can't legislate common sense.
In a crowding park lot trying to park or leave?
On a snow-packed or slippery road?
In a residential area with parked cars along the street and lots of kids playing?
Stay off the phone until you're out of these situations or pull over and then talk.
But don't ban those with common sense from using cell phones while driving. And stop with the Mythbusters thing. It was a non-scientific test under very specific circumstances with an insanely small sample size - hardly proof of anything.
Jeff Ward
11:42 am on Friday, December 23, 2011
Paul,
Though it was fun to include the Mythbusters video, that study has been confirmed over and over.
Here's to the NTSB!
Jeff
Kelly
1:18 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Easily half of the parents dropping off and picking up children at both the schools I am at during the week are on the phone. People don't care about the laws, recommendations, evidence etc. , because they know they have it under control. It is all about personal responsibility.
Meg Kadlec
1:27 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Jeff,
I agree completely with your stance on phoning and driving. I stopped talking on my cell phone in the car, with or without a hands-free device, the day I pulled into the driveway and realized that, while I remembered perfectly my entire phone conversation, I remembered not one inch of the roadway on which I had been driving. I was completely absorbed in my phone conversation. That scared me enough to stop. I love my family too much to leave them widowed and motherless.
Jeff Ward
2:06 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Meg,
I love what you're describing - the realization of the possibility that you aren't infallible. I've discovered it's amazing how that insight can keep you out of trouble.
And your last sentence says it all. Excellent post!
Jeff
Angela Kane
3:28 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Jeff-I disagree with the ban because it's more government intervention into our lives. Enough already, and people will ignore it anyway. Has anyone driven on the streets of Chicago where phone use is already banned? Just another money maker for the city....but please people, put down the darned phone and pay attention to your driving. Enough already--and especially moms in vans! I know you want to talk to your kids and your girlfriends, but PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD.
Kelly
5:24 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
After 35 + years of driving I know absolutely when and where I should pay attention to the road - and without a doubt, never to expect or trust other drivers to obey all the traffic laws, and to pay extra attention near schools and other areas where there is heavy pedestrian traffic. Accidents happen and common sense can be fleeting when you are distracted.
Jean Kuhn
9:54 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Jeff, you said, "Just as I’ve 911-ed three drunken drivers, I’ll be more than happy to rat out these folks, too. And once they realize their fellow motorists are willing to drop a dime on them, they’ll get a clue pretty quickly."
I'm just wondering if you would use you cell phone to rat them out or write on a piece of paper while driving?
Jeff Ward
7:09 am on Saturday, December 24, 2011
Jean,
You are correct, but I did qualify that by saying that cell phones are great for reporting emergency situations which would be excepted in any ban. And getting a drunk driver off the road is clearly an emergency situation.
Though I know you'd like to, you can't compare calling 911 three times in 20 years to having a cellphone glued to your ear every waking moment you're in the car.
Jeff
Lisa
10:32 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
Hahahahahahaaaaaa! Good one. Funny.:)
Mark
11:37 pm on Friday, December 23, 2011
I have been driving semi trucks, heavy and light wreckers for the better part of 40 years, much of it before the proliferation of cell phones. I have witnessed and cleaned up many serious accidents, including quite a few fatalities. I have seen the results first hand of in-attentive drivers. I have seen young people and children severely injured and maimed, many for life. Granted, one may argue the many causes, but in more recent years more and more of them are being caused by unnecessary cell phone usage. Unfortunately many cell phone users do not even realize they have caused an accident at all. One can never say for sure what part of the road commands more attention than another as one cannot be sure of another's actions. An outright ban would be an enforcement nightmare, however, should one be involved in an accident causing serious bodily injury or death, the driver's cell phone records should be checked and if found that the phone was in use for any reason, their license should be suspended immediately for an extended period of time.
Jack
8:37 am on Saturday, December 24, 2011
Yes- please ban all phone use while driving !
Dan Stearns
1:18 pm on Saturday, December 24, 2011
Studies by the NHTSB, AAA and various state DOT's have all implicated distracted driving as a contributor to accidents. Interestingly, there is no difference between talking on the phone or talking to a passenger in the car when it comes to accident data.
Therefore the government should ban all talking (and singing along to the radio, for that matter - since it would be impossible for an observing officer to discern between singing and talking).